TECHNICAL TERMS AND
EXPRESSIONS

Like all groups, naturalists use jargon and short-cuts assuming they are known by all. Do you know what a ‘tick’ means, or if asked to go on a ‘twitch’, do you start practising involuntary spasms? If walking the Welsh Brecon Beacons and hear the distant cry ‘Aaaaaarrrrgggggghhhhh isn’t it,’ what does this signify?

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Grid Reference: You can buy Ordnance Survey Maps according to the area.

To use a grid reference see - http://sewhgpgc.co.uk/os.php .

The Philip’s Street Atlas, which details every street in each county, is also Ordnance Survey showing grid references.

You can use www.streetmap.co.uk/ . Simply place in the full grid reference with no gaps, no full stops, and enter. Then, use the zoom tools.

Multi-map www.multimap.com/ also has this facility.

Volunteer: A volunteer spends months preparing a walk, only for it to pour down with rain on the big day. A volunteer will always be criticised but rarely praised. A volunteer will never use the expressions ‘I’m a winner’ or ’If you’re first you’re first. If you’re second you are nowhere’. Rather they will help the last. A volunteer will spend years and money fighting for a small plot of greenery amongst the concrete, a last refuge for wildlife or a place where children might play. A volunteer will give up weekends establishing a habitat so that a butterfly can find one last refuge to lay her eggs.

A volunteer devotes a minimum of 400 hours every year editing the Hampshire Bird Report. A volunteer will leave behind the comforts of the west for 6 months, to help directly the poorest in the world in Bangladesh; those who have nothing and never will have, or a volunteer may make the tea. Volunteers travel to dusty halls on a February night, taking dusty minutes, listening to points of order. Every ecological, conservation, nature organisation or charity would collapse without volunteers.

The RSPB Portsmouth Branch alone, requires a Treasurer, Minutes secretary, Social Secretary, Assistant Social Secretary, Field Secretary, Newsletter Editor, Membership Secretary and Committee Members. A volunteer may be on their feet all day in a shop, on a door, in the kitchen, leading a walk, giving up their holiday employing hard physical labour clearing bramble and bracken.

A volunteer speaker may be thanked but a volunteer auditor will not. Volunteers are not considered celebrities, will not be asked to appear on chat shows that are never remembered. They will remain in the cold and rain all day running a jumble sale. Volunteers rarely walk along a red carpet, tend not to spend half of their existence giving each other awards and saying the latest project was the most exciting ever, and neither seek, nor are awarded knighthoods or any titles. They do not weep the words, ‘None of this would have been possible without the Chaffinches, the Nuthatches, fellow wardens, and not forgetting the Common Sandpipers; ’ but volunteers know their friends are genuine friends.

Volunteers do not put their earnings into offshore hedge funds. They do not receive earnings, they rarely receive expenses; but they sleep an untroubled sleep.

Scientists and Naturalists: They tend to be fascinated by insignificant trivia; evolution, a common spider’s web, supernovas, prime numbers, how butterflies migrate thousands of miles, how the universe was created. It seems few professional naturalists or scientists are paid over £30,000 a week, bungs must be hushed-up as they are seldom reported, and they are infrequently transferred from one council to another for millions of pounds. On their days off they normally work. It is probably not commonplace to be paid their wages via an offshore tax haven. They get offered few peerages. As a rule they tend not to wear chunky gold chains, they speak normal English, do not buy cars on status alone, see little point in paying 3 times as much for clothing just because it shows a label, do not have their own names emblazoned on personalised number plates and are probably the most contented body of people of any of the professions.

Bling-bling: Not too many naturalists or scientists into bling-bling. The vast majority will even now be reaching for the O.E.D.M.S.T. (Oxford English Dictionary of Modern Street Talk) before discovering there is no such book.

STARS: There are more stars in the universe, than every grain of sand on earth.

UNIVERSE: Everything; all the atoms, dark matter, energy, dark energy, planets, suns, comets, galaxies, time. Er, not quite everything - - -

MULITVERSE: There may be trillions of universes, possibly being created every second, may have totally different laws of physics. If this is considered far-fetched, increasing number of astro-physicists, including Professor Martin Rees, our present Astronomer Royal, considers this probable.

Holidays: Shut your eyes and lie back. If you wish, play soothing music, Enya perhaps, maybe light a joss stick. Feel your muscles gradually relax, your head feels heavy, there is peace, your eyes can no longer stay open, all your problems are floating out of your head and there is inner calm; total tranquillity.

Now imagine.

Imagine, that every day for the rest of your life was a holiday. Every day would bring new insight, new knowledge, new wonders to behold, new joy. Every time you went for a walk to buy your newspaper, may bring a sight you have never before seen. Every time you travel in a car, or train or coach, might bring a never-to-be repeated experience. Even if not, there is always excitement, always anticipation. Now imagine that this lifelong holiday, need cost you nothing.

You want to stay in this flight of the imagination. You do not want to come round, but now reluctantly, slowly, slowly open your eyes. You want to return to that nirvana. There is a way. There is life anew.

It is not a fantasy, there is no secret. It is the natural world, the geology, evolution, our fellow creatures, the universe. Start to discover the natural world. Whatever your age, whatever your ability, you can begin a new lifelong experience.

Buy a book and look.

BORED/NOT: There are 2 groups of people who can never experience boredom, however hard they might try; nature lovers and readers. Rather, annoyance that they pass this way but once, and life is too short. There are far too many books that require to be read. Similarly with anyone with a connection with the natural world, every day can bring joy, heartache, bereavement, pain, contentment, sights of wonder and also cruelty, but never again, will the words ‘I’m bored’ pass the lips. It is not conceivable or even possible. Try it.

YOUNG PEOPLE: Where are they? Has anyone seen them? Are they becoming an endangered species? We never see young people out and about birdwatching, especially not by themselves. I am the only extremely young person I know.

Where are the teenagers, the twenty and thirty and forty year olds?

Reasons the young are not seen – True or false?

1) Computers and PlayStations

2) ‘There are nasty men out there’

3) Lack of money

4) Lack of leisure time

5) Lack of transport.

Whilst true that the wrinklies have more leisure time, and maybe the resources to indulge themselves on excursions and nature holidays, this does not explain this huge discrepancy. There are more and better television programmes on the natural world, which the younger generations enjoy watching. So where are they?

1) True, we did not have computers, although most of us do now. They can be addictive, but ask any naturalist or writer, they work on computers and to a person, they are happiest when actually out there in the field.

2) Yes, but still rare and maybe much of the perception is down to the vast amount of publicity when an incident occurs. You do not have to go to isolated spots, and can join a group.

3) Not needed. You do not need to travel to Costa Rica. Walk in your local park. Look out of your window.

4) You must have some leisure time; holidays or weekends?

5) Bike, bus, parents, friends, feet.

Forget the gym; have you ever seen a jogger having a laugh or even smiling? Disregard the misery, get fit walking the hills and plains, look at nature, and you are allowed to enjoy it at the same time.

Ticks: Whether you are into flora, butterflies or birds, you may wish to keep a list of species that you see. This may be just for your own benefit, or you may be an official recorder. You can compare year-to-year to notice trends, perceive whether the weather has an effect, or predation is affecting numbers, perhaps dog walkers.

A ‘year tick’ means that is the first time that species was seen by you during that year, a ‘lifer’ means first time ever. You can have your own garden tick list, your own patch, your county, country or continent. You have permission to keep ticks on anything you want.

Twitcher: Whenever birdwatchers are referred to as twitchers, they become defensive, and reply that twitchers are only interested in rare birds. They screech up in their cars, see the bird and with burning rubber, speed on to the next, whereas ‘we’ are birdwatchers, we love watching their behaviour, colours, courting and so on.

However, many birdwatchers keep lists as well, and do tend to see how many different species can be seen. A highlight will always be seeing a rare species.

Twitchers have received negative press for being insensitive, flushing birds just to record having seen them, being rude to the less experienced, but most have heeded this and have changed their ways. There are many more about now because of the internet and mobile phones. In fairness they do provide a service. Many are experts at identification, are consummate recorders, and by noting rare birds, trends can be established and maybe data obtained on effects such as climate change. Also, we all benefit from their findings, when details are posted onto the internet.

The top British twitchers such as Lee Evans, who contributes to hoslist, notch up over 400 species a year. To accomplish this is a full-time occupation.

Kindness that costs nothing: You offer to show a passing old lady an Osprey in your telescope and you make her day; maybe her year. Try this even if you are a self-centred git. It does not cost a penny and will make YOU feel good.

Your Own Patch: Be it your garden, your town, a path, a county, a field, a reserve, most of us have our ‘own patch’ an area that we get to know through the seasons, over the years. The birds that nest here, those that pass through, the influence of human or dog disturbance, the insects, the flora. There are those like myself, who prefer travelling around Hayling Island, Hampshire, Britain and Europe and those who are faithful, more than happy to resist greener pastures new, and stick to their own little patch. I admire such devotees and as a result, Andy Johnson can amass over 180 species of bird in a year, on his patch on East Hayling.

No matter how small the area, it will still take a lifetime to know the nuances, it is never the same, and there is a joy that is never transient, a joy of seeing the first orchid of the year, first Brimstone Butterfly, first Swallow, and most of all, expectation of what might seen tomorrow.

I never asked to be born: You have been waiting 4 hours in a hide. Numb with cold, hypothermia not far off, but you remain upbeat and expectant. Finally, from no more than 10 yards, there is a rustle, the slightest movement, in the reeds. Minutes later a distinctive beak protrudes. There is stillness in the hide, a hush as absolute as deep space. Then, your first ever glimpse of the secretive Bittern. For weeks you have heard its distinctive boom, but finally, it is to reveal itself. Everyone is on tenterhooks. Your breath itself is stifled. You see its head, a foot comes out – then from behind, the door opens and Ruby Wax enters the hide------

G.I.T.: Acronym for ‘git’. Those who demand the silence of a vacuum in a hide, who chide kids for enthusing when they spot a bird before anyone else, and knock any remaining enthusiasm from them for ever. A rare species, but known in the trade as ‘gits’.

Sexism: Why, when we approach a couple out birdwatching and enquire, ‘Seen anything interesting?’ do we always address the question, to the man? Discuss. (This is the only concession to political correctness.)

Aaaaarrrrgggghh: The most commonly used cry amongst naturalists. It appears not to be seasonal, used by both sexes, has been recorded in all weathers in every habitat, in hides, fields, heathland, observatories, dale, mountain, forest and shore. There are slight variations such as ‘Och Aaaaarrrrgggghh the nooooo’ from our northern colleagues. The lament is heard throughout the kingdom, from morn to dusk, it can even be nocturnal.

Here are just a few of the more recent recordings of this distinctive exclamation, and the circumstances relating to it. It is often to be heard as an involuntary wail when a naturalist catches up with colleagues and hears these well known words:-

It has just flown

It has just gone down

It was here for 17 weeks, but left yesterday

You’ll never guess what you just missed

You shouldn’t have gone for that pee

And two that I recall well –

5 minutes ago, we had a flock of Crossbills in the car park.

Followed a week later by;

If only you were here on time. A Honey Buzzard flew over the car park.

That is life. It would be boring if it all went to plan- have a wry chuckle. One forgets such matters.

Grrrrrrrrrrr

Escape (or escapee): Birds, butterflies, mammals, often escape from zoos or private collections. They are called ‘escapes’, and should not be recorded as being naturally wild. Similarly, at Wetland Centres for example, birds in enclosed areas should be assumed to be ringed and their wings clipped, so are captives.

Same applies to photography. You should not add these to your ‘wild collection’, that is naughty. You would not include a Tiger from a zoo.

It may be unclear at times, whether a bird is an escape or is an authentic ‘rarity’, maybe genuinely blown across from Europe or even America. If in doubt - - - it’s often up to you.

Are we nearly there yet?: You know the sinking feeling. You have turned off your street in Hayling Island on your way to Skye, when a drone is uttered from the back seat; ‘Mum, are we nearly there yet?’ There are 2 reasons why a naturalist would never utter these words.

Firstly, the average age of a naturalist is in the late seventies, and secondly if he or she happens to be a youngster, they will be far, far too busy-busy looking excitedly out of the window, making notes of all the birds and other creatures that will be seen on the journey. You will struggle trying to coerce your children to ever complain about anything again.

HOS - Hampshire Ornithological Society: Formed in 1979, it is now booming with over 1,000 members. This organisation has a programme of weekly guided walks, produces quarterly glossy colour magazines, has an annual meeting in Winchester with free lectures and exhibitions in swish surroundings and produces a bird report. This book, represents thousands of man-hours of work, with volunteers throughout the county, recording numbers of every species of bird, out in the field and then onto the computer. Together with the other counties, this must make Britain unsurpassed for data.

The annual cost to be a member - £78.50? £62.25? actually £12 per year. This is economics but not as we know it. Should you sadly live outside of Hampshire, use a search engine, enter ‘Ornithological Society’, preceded by your county.

Hoslist: This is the email service of HOS, with over 600 members, whereby members can email their sightings and observations. It is instant and free.

Childishness: An affliction, common to every naturalist and scientist, mathematician, astronomer, astro-physicist. They have a bouncy excitement day after day, year after year, when they see something new in nature or something they see most days, but still, always enthrals. If you have this childish enthusiasm, blessed are you.

Oh, dash it all: This is your reaction when finally, a male Orange Tip butterfly not only settles on a native Bluebell, but it’s within inches of you, the sun is bright and behind you. It is perfect. Delicately, heart thumping, tongue sticking out, you set up the camera, the Orange Tip fills the viewfinder, you squeeze the shutter - - and discover the battery is dead.

Transect: The name given to the geographical area where you are to do your survey or counts.

BTO: British Trust for Ornithology: The main organisation dealing with surveys and counts.

LBJ: I consider myself to be amongst the elite, one of the great birdwatchers. My record here on Hayling obliterates most of my colleagues, even the professionals. I manage to spot LBJs whenever I travel anywhere. I have a knack of seeing flocks of LBJS; LBJs in brambles, in thickets, amongst trees, feeding in fields. Others here on Hayling, your Jason Crook, Simon Wright and Andy Johnson, may record Goldfinches, Linnets, Greenfinches, Dunnocks, Redstarts, Pipits, Warblers of all species, but come nowhere close to me, with numbers of LBJS.

This is the name given, to ‘little brown jobs’, those sparrow-sized birds that are so difficult to identify, unless you know the calls, the song, the size, the silhouette or the jizz. In reality, some of these birds are colourful, but when trying to recognise them in the rain on a greyish-grey day from 400 yards, or as they weave overhead in a flock, to me and many others, they are, and maybe always will be, little brown jobs. We invariably study them carefully with our bins, move to our scopes, check with our book, double-check, and only then can we finally confirm them as being an LBJ.

Jizz: Name commonly given by naturalists to behavioural patterns of species. Thus it might be written; ‘Judging by its jizz, it was a Holly Blue Butterfly’. It is actually just another name for behaviour, but not yet recognised by dictionaries.

Bins: We can’t be bothered to say binoculars. If you wish to see close ups of insects or plants, use your binoculars upside down. They act as microscopic lenses, although you have to put the lens close to the subject.

Scope: We can’t be bothered to say telescope. They are not much good in dark woods, but a boon in heathland, field or the shoreline, anywhere open. Birdwatching scopes are light to carry and known as ‘spotting scopes’.

SOUP: Nothing warms the innards like it, not even seeing a Peregrine swoop. Well we remember the day we were out on the Chichester Harbour Cruise. Twas in November. We realised we were taking a chance, and sure enough, it became ‘bracing’ (goose pimples the size of apples; our bone marrow began to ice-up; Ernest Shackleton would have felt at home). Then - - - - home made soup and roll and butter was produced. It was hot; it should immediately have qualified the boat operators to eleven Michelin Stars, for according to data, it was possibly the greatest food ever tasted. Soup is a prerequisite for most winter walks, together with a flagon of tea and wearing of suitable attire. If you do not have good footwear, a warm hat and gloves and good clothing, you will not enjoy the coastal walks, and even on Hayling Island, there are historic records of an occasional cold hour or two.

Picnics: Do you remember the halcyon days of yore, when even you were young? Memorize that picnic, nostalgia dictates the sun shone all day, the sandwiches never tasted better, the tea was nectar. Everyone recalls picnics, so why did you stop? The décor beats the most expensive restaurant.

Take your haversack, fill it up with yummies, sandwiches, soup, tea, cakes, lashings of ice-cream and jellies and custard, more soup and stuff and things and ginger pop and enjoy it every time you go out.

Cats: Unfortunately, Cats continue to have an effect on bird and mammal populations. There is no consensus of how profound this is, and maybe organisations do not wish to upset such a huge percentage of the population who own and love cats. However, the problem is one of numbers, with approximately 7 million domestic cats, and a further million feral cats, who combined are believed responsible for the deaths of about 300 million birds, nestlings, and rodents.

There are 3 methods of moderating this figure:

1) The RSPB believes that a large bell attached to the cat can make a 40% difference, and there are now sonic devices.

2) For those who adore cats, why not just have the one? Constant companionship is not essential, they are not pack animals. The only feline that lives in groups is the lion, all others are largely solitary.

3) The ‘Cats Protection League’ policy is to neuter strays as they believe there are too many cats.

They are great companions, it seems a pity they seem to enjoy killing for fun.

Scientific Names: Do not worry; you don’t have to use these, ever. The Swede Carl Linnaeus was the originator of classifying organisms into categories. Latin names are useful, not just to impress, for example, they may show what family a flower belongs to (although this can be an inexact science) and furthermore, it means there is a common, worldwide name for each species in nature.

Dogs: Naturalists are the most laid-back unassuming group imaginable, but occasionally there is antipathy against dogs. In fairness, most are well behaved, only the troublesome ones are remembered, and it is not the dog, so much as the owner’s fault.

Dogs flush wildlife; they can destroy ground-nesting birds such as the Skylark and the Woodlark (even the ‘Right to Roam’ has drawbacks. Why can’t life be simple?).

Another problem is with waders. Observe birds such as Dunlins for a while. They need to feed at a frantic pace just to survive, particularly in the cold weather and many have to continue to feed throughout the night (hence the large eyes on Grey Plovers amongst others). Here at Hayling for example, walkers and dog-walkers like to walk along the beach. (Why do we all love to walk along the tide-line? Some believe our love of the sea, rivers, lakes and water generally, is so innate, it goes back to the time that we lived in the sea) Sanderlings are therefore continually disturbed and have to fly.

Then there are the roosts. At high tides, the birds congregate in groups to rest, there is nowhere to feed. If constantly disturbed by dogs and walkers, they have to fly.

If we ask walkers to make a slight detour, and explain why, most will comply, some will say they have always walked this route and they are not changing for the sake of birdwatchers. It is not just the birdwatchers who are affected, the birds themselves can actually die. Flying entails a great deal of expended energy when they should be at rest or feeding.

Similarly, there are now large swathes of our rivers bereft of wildlife, where dogs are encouraged to play in the water. The lower Test for instance, has stretches of a mile or more devoid of wildlife, without a Grebe, Moorhen or Coot, due to constant interference.

Wally: Wallius Plonkus - - Naturalists as a rule are dog-lovers as anyone else, indeed, most of them have a faithful companion and treasure that unique comradeship. Most problem walkers have no idea of any problems for which they might be the cause. It is not deliberate, it is unknowing but if possible harm is explained to those strolling along the beach, or walking the dog, and they continue to ignore friendly advice and are unwilling to make a slight detour, they are known in the trade as ‘Wallies’.

So, these are a few technical terms to assist your days on field trips. You have the bins, you have the warm clothing and soup and now you know the lingo, you have field cred.

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